Victory over depression, self-harm & attempted suicide

Firstly, All Glory to God!

My name is Tony and as of today, I have been born again for 3 years and 2 months.

It took me 55 years to accept the fact that I am so loved by God that HE sent HIS only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross so that our sins would be cleansed by HIS blood. I know now that God loved me even in my early teens when I walked away from the faith I was baptised into.

HE loved me even through the years when I denied HIS existence, through my teen and into my early 20`s.

HE loved me through the years of heartache after my first marriage fell apart.

HE loved me through 30 years of major depression.

And HE really loved me through several suicide attempts and years of self-harm.

He loved me through time spent in psychiatric wards.

He loved me through E.C.T. (Electro Convulsion Therapy) and prescription drugs that was supposed to help my illness.

He loved me through all my self-medicating. That`s a polite way to describe my drinking and taking drugs.

He loved me even when I looked for meaning in all the wrong places.

He loved me so much that He lifted the fog of depression and the need for prescription drugs from my life in 2007. I know now it was HIS divine intervention.

God loves me so much that 3 years 2 months ago, I was led through the front doors of Real Life Church. Here I was born again and welcomed back into God`s arms.

I am so loved by God that I was freed from my chains of self-medication within a month!

God so loved me that HIS hand kept me from descending to the depths my wanderings could and would take me.

I love God because HE first loved me.

As a new Christian, these words from Psalm 25: 4-11 spoke to me.

“Show me the right path, o Lord:
Point out the road for me to follow.
Lead me by your truth and teach me,
For you are the God who saves me.
All the day long I put my hope in you.
Remember, O Lord, your compassion and unfailing love,
Which you have shown from long ages past.
Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth.
Remember me in the light of your unfailing love,
For you are merciful, O Lord.
The Lord is good and does what is right,
He shows the proper path to those who go astray.
He leads the humble in doing right, teaching them his way.
The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness
All who keep his covenant and obey his demands.
For the honour of your name, O Lord, forgive my many, many sins.”



Saved from brain damage!

(i) The Day it all began

It was Cross-country day in Hebron School, Ooty – a town neatly tucked away in the hills of South India.  My parents had sent me to a Christian boarding school at the early age of 10 years. This story happened back when I was only 13 years old.  The Cross-country day was a long distance race.  It involved a box walk, running down often slippery hills, past a primitive village and some rough paths.

On this particular year, I was one of the qualifying runners. But not long into the race, I sensed something was not right. It’s hard to describe and recall, but I do know that my run soon became a walk back to school as I found my energy sapped and my body drained at a very early stage – leaving me with little strength to finish the course.

(ii) The Drive to the Hospital

Moments after my arrival back to the school, I lost my sense of orientation and balance…I could not even walk straight…so much so that I shockingly walked head-on into walls; I could not remember my room, nor even change my own clothes! My friends assumed I was playing a joke but soon realized that this was for real!

I was rushed to the school clinic where oxygen was pumped into me. Then my elder brother, Adrian, ran to the scene carrying me into a jeep that sped its way to the nearest hospital in Coimbatore. I recall throwing up several times on that up-hill drive. And by the time I arrived at the hospital within minutes – I drifted into a coma – loosing all sense of consciousness and experienced several convulsions.

(iii) The Drama turns to Despair

The hospital ran several tests and immediately concluded that I needed a more specialized hospital and so I was immediately transferred to the hospital in Kotagiri. The doctors there concluded that I would die in 3 days! My brain was destroyed… and only a small portion able to function. Even if I was to wake from my coma the doctors believed I would no longer be a normal child! I would not even be able to recognize my own parents due to the extensive brain-damage. (*It is believed that I suffered an attack of viral encephalitis that destroyed the brain) . The news had to be relayed to my parents and the school. The situation was hopeless and death was just a matter of time!

(iv) The Despair turns into a Divine Visitation

The principal Mr Rod Gilbert kept the student body informed over the next two days and on the third day he summoned the whole assembly to pray in earnest. Guess what? GOD heard the prayers of HIS people and chose to extend HIS marvelous grace and favour.  Moments after the school prayed on the third day I woke out of my coma- back to normal in an instant with a 100% recovery!

The Doctors were in utter shock and disbelief! I vividly remember sitting upright on my hospital bed with an apple in my mouth, playing a game of boggle with Mum as the Doctors stormed in exclaiming: “It’s a miracle!”

Reagan Joseph



GOD supernatuarally provides!

What I am about to testify is to glorify Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
I have countless testimonies about God’s faithfulness through thithes and offerings. (i.e giving a portion of my income- which is often referred to as our First fruits- this is done to testify and proclaim that GOD indeed comes first in our lives).
But I would like to share just one testimony. Many years ago,when my kids were little, we lived in India. I was working as a hairdresser and used to manage the home with only one wage. I was always a consistent thither (i.e giver) but this particular month I had hardly any money to even cover half my bills! I hesitated to thithe as I thought this money would at least pay for our electricity bill.
But I said to myself : “No my Lord! I will thithe and trust you. Well, my brothers and sisters I’m here to testify that I don’t know how but supernaturally all my bills were paid and I had enough food on my table for my kids.
I love tithing and get really excited when it’s time to “worship” GOD with our tithes and offerings!
I believe that our tithes give birth to faith and our faith pleases GOD and in turn HE blesses everyting we put our hands to and grants us the dresires of our hearts!
I would encourage you all to tithe and test GOD. Why not watch and see what HE will do for you?